Completing the Stress Cycle: A Guide to Combating Stress

We are surrounded by negativity these days - politically, economically, socially, personally. It feels harder and harder to shake off. The added stress of the pandemic is pushing people to the edge. How can you care for yourself and release stress when so many stressors feel out of your control? 

In their book, Burnout, sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski tackle the subject of dealing with stress and stressors. Firstly, they distinguish between stress and stressors. Stress is the experience of your body when you feel stressed. Stressors are the people, events, or experiences that cause the stress. You may or may not be able to change the stressors in your life, but, as the Nagoskis suggest, you need to complete the stress cycle almost every day to manage your stress levels and keep from burning out.

What is the stress response cycle?

When you are confronted by a stressor (a nasty coworker, a difficult project, a sick child) your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode. In fight mode, you may challenge your coworker to see your point of view. In flight mode you may procrastinate starting the project out of fear, in freeze mode, you may feel so helpless you find it difficult to function. These reactions create responses in your nervous system to help you survive the threat: fast heart rate, tense muscles, alertness. We can get stuck in this mode, especially when the stressors aren’t short-term.  Completing the stress response cycle involves taking action so your body believes the threat has been eliminated and you can relax.

How do you complete the stress response cycle when the stressor isn’t eliminated?

Even though the stressor may not be eliminated we can ‘trick’ our body (temporarily) into believing it has been. By taking action on the stress, which we have more control of than stressors, we can deceive our bodies into completing the stress cycle. We cannot simply tell our brains that we have nothing to worry about, even for an evening. We need to show our bodies that we are safe, and all is well.


How do you complete the stress response cycle?

Self-care for managing stress is more specific than regular self-care because its intention is to complete the stress response cycle. These self-care activities are more active than usual because we need to actively show our body we are safe. This kind of self-care is self-care with extra oomph.

The #1 way to complete the stress response cycle is by exercising for 20-60 minutes. Completing some form of exercise tells your body you have survived the threat and you are safe. Some ideas for exercise include:

✦ Run, hike, ski, snowshoe or do some other form of strenuous exercise that gets your heart rate up.

✦ Play your version of dance music - loudly - and DANCE. Find a private space and close the door if you need to just get that heart rate up for a song or two!

✦ Swim – swimming uses your whole body and is not weight-bearing so is easier on joints

✦ Cycle – another non-weight-bearing vigorous exercise

However, exercise isn’t the only way to complete the stress response cycle. The list below may be easier to fit into your day without a big change in your routine.

✦ Slow, deep breaths – this is most effective when the stress isn’t as high or as a way to reset during the day. Try breathing in for a count of 6 and exhaling for a count of 10. Do this 5 times and see how you feel.

✦ Positive, casual, social interactions – this has been challenging during COVID. We have literal barriers between us with masks and social distancing. Stress levels are high, and people may not be as friendly. Make a point to say a kind word to your barista or grocery store clerk, or to your customers and see how your body changes. These warm interactions tell your body you are safe.

✦ Smile - The mere act of smiling reduces blood pressure, lowers stress hormones, and boosts your mood; a study even found that one smile generates the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!

✦ Laugh - Watch your favourite movie, a comedy special or dog videos, just something that brings joy into your life! They say laughter is the best medicine and it's true. Laughter helps protect our hearts with brain connectivity and creates stronger social bonds.

✦ Affection – You may need connection with a loving presence to shift your biology. Affection may be expressed verbally or with presence. Petting a dog or cat for a few minutes qualifies as affection and changes your body’s stress level. Physical affection also fits in this category. A 20 second hug or a 6 second kiss both convey safety. Our bodies know that we would only engage in these behaviours with someone we trust and like.

✦ Cry – Consider how you feel after a good cry. You feel relieved. Your body droops. You feel spent and want to sleep. Watch a movie or video that brings you to tears. Your body doesn’t know the difference between fiction and reality. Moving through the experiences of the characters in your show helps your body live through them as well.

✦ Creative expression – art, music, writing, and theatre all invite big emotions. Creative endeavours also use different parts of our brain which helps to process emotion and shift our bodies out of high gear.

✦ Progressive Muscle Relaxation – lie down or sit in a supported position and tense and release each muscle in your body, from head to toe, holding for 7-10 seconds with each muscle group, paying particular attention to where you carry your stress. This activity creates physical tension in the body like the fight or flight response and allows for its release. I have a progressive muscle relaxation mediation you can listen to here.


How will you know if you have completed the cycle?

When your body shifts to feeling relaxed you have completed the stress response cycle. You may find it easy to recognize or it might take some practice. You might notice a mood shift. Your mental state may feel clearer. Your body may not be carrying the same tension it had before. We are so used to tuning into our negative feelings that feeling better may take some time to identify. Write down when you notice a good feeling in your body so you can recall it later. We often don’t take the time to notice when we feel good, and think about how we got there, and it can make it harder to find those feelings again when life overwhelms us. Regular practice of completing the stress response cycle will help you become better acquainted with what strategies work for you and how you feel when the stress cycle is completed.

Looking for more ways to break the Stress Cycle? Check out my meditation series here.