4 Powerful Habits to Become More Assertive

Being assertive means being direct about what you need, want, or feel in a way that’s respectful of others. Using assertiveness as a communication skill can help reduce conflict, build your self-confidence, and improve your relationships.

Assertiveness is often a reflection of our boundaries and self-worth. As you work towards being more assertive you are able to learn what kinds of behaviour and energies you allow into your life.

4 tips on Being Assertive

1. USE "I" STATEMENTS “I” statements express your concerns and needs as opposed to “you" statements which put blame on to others. Expressing yourself with “I” statements is more likely to lead the other person to hear your message.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTHS Acknowledge the truth in someone’s complaints about you, and at the same time stand up for yourself. If someone is upset because you won't help them you could say “I understand you are disappointed with me but I need to say no because I am tired. I am not being selfish, I need to take care of myself."

3. MAKE CLEAR AND SIMPLE STATEMENTS By making clear and simple statements of your wants, needs, and expectations you are setting healthy boundaries. These statements also help to not fall into arguing as all parties are aware of what is expected of them in the situation.

4. FOCUS ON THE PROCESS OVER THE RESULT Being assertive doesn’t mean you will always get what you ask for. The goal of assertiveness is clear communication. Making clear your wants and needs is a good relationship skill and often reduces hurt and irritation that can lead to anger.