A Pandemic Plea
As I speak with people in my practice, I can’t help but notice the strain everyone is feeling. The anticipated winter holidays were quashed again with orders to keep things small and avoid gathering. Just when we thought we were in the clear, another variant.
I have heard ‘I am so over it’ referring to the pandemic more times than I can count. I have uttered the phrase myself. Patience is wearing thin. Another regular comment I hear is ‘where did “we’re all in this together” go?’
It does feel like we have all gone to our separate corners, pushed there by health orders and people’s differing belief systems. The pandemic has become increasingly divisive. Those divisions only worsen people’s resilience. If we aren’t holding each other up when our arms aren’t strong enough to hold ourselves, we all fall down.
So, I have a desperate appeal for you as we continue to worry about ourselves and our loved ones:
Shift your focus to gratitude, kindness, and compassion.
Gratitude: You may feel you have nothing to be grateful for. You may have lost your job, or worse, family members to COVID. You may be working from a small home with small children running around. You may be living on your own and isolated from others. I know it is a big ask to focus on gratitude. But research shows that gratitude is one thing we know is tied to happiness. Focusing on gratitude shifts the focus off the negative. This negative thinking can leak into our world view and sour how we feel about ourselves and others. Yes, the world is a difficult place right now. This is not news. Finding goodness and gratitude in the midst of it, that is noteworthy, and takes strength to hold that positive space.
Kindness: When the pandemic started, ‘we were all in this together’. It certainly doesn’t feel like that anymore. People don’t make eye contact, let alone say ‘hi’ on the street. Frustrations are high. The supply of goods and services is not always reliable and, for our society demanding immediate gratification, this is inconvenient. I would argue this entitlement is problematic and the pandemic is a universal way to correct that attitude; however, that belongs in a different article. What I am suggesting here is to try being kind. Offering kindness will require slowing down and taking a deep breath. We are all in a huge rush to have our needs met. Take a moment and consider how you would like to be treated when you step into the grocery store. Would you like other shoppers to be aware of your presence? To step aside if they see you moving toward them? Can you show those courtesies to others? These behaviours only change if we are the ones to change them. Waiting for your neighbour to act first is not the answer.
Compassion: These are undoubtedly trying times. You may feel like you have nothing left to give. We are all spent. We are out of hope that we will achieve normal ever again. Our needs aren’t getting met so it is hard to find compassion for others, especially those who don’t see the world the way we do. This pandemic has been divisive. We are required to announce our vaccination status in multiple locations: in restaurants, in gyms, for travel. People who aren’t vaccinated feel ostracized. Families are divided by personal ideology about vaccinations. These divisions feel unprecedented. It is easier to judge and complain about people who are making different choices than to hold compassion for them. Perhaps compassion is choosing not to make disparaging comments about people who hold differing views from yours. This doesn’t imply agreement, but it does offer respect for choice, something I believe we all want for ourselves. Compassion may extend further; how can you help others who are struggling during this time? Yes, your life may be hard, but there are always others who have more challenges. What can you do to help support others? Helping others gives us a sense of connection that we are missing and craving on some level right now.
We continue to live in challenging times. Our patience is thin. It can be hard to find the energy to get through the day, let alone add more to our plate. As I write this, I am tentatively optimistic that the world may open up somewhat in the near future. Perhaps we only need to wait for the changes to feel better about the world and our lives. However, so much of life is waiting. Who do you want to be while you wait? I offer you gratitude, kindness, and compassion as options to inspire you to be gentler with the world around you and to help you feel better at the same time.